Wintering
Like many of my clients I find the winter months hardest to bear – especially when it is dominated by grey dullness as it seems to be as I write.
Being aware of the challenges many of my clients face in the winter months I have wanted to reflect on my own experience. As well as, seemingly constant, cloud and miserable rain (as opposed to a refreshing spring downpour that goes as quickly as it comes) I find early darkness and dark mornings often quite bleak.
One reflection has been that as a woman I have conditioned to feel that darkness equates to danger. I certainly do not walk the same way home on dark early evening in winter as I happily do in the other seasons.
It is also more difficult to drag myself out of bed (and getting the teenager up takes some persuasion and occasional despair). In spring and summer I have a morning ritual that I relish and my day starts with light, birdsong and a sense that the day ahead holds promise. In winter I uncurl from my bed and curl up again on a sofa with a cup of strong coffee. Less of a start with a kick than a begrudging kick start.
I have attempted to make changes this year that I think have helped. More vigilance around Vitamin D, a daylight therapy lamp and making sure that my daily walk is enforced, especially on days when it feels like a struggle to put on my boots.
These are all rather pragmatic interventions though. What really needs to shift is my perception of what winter could be in a more positive light, so to speak.
Katherine May’s book Wintering has been a joy to read for her prose but has also given me much to reflect on as I try to re-frame my attitude towards this time of year.
The sub-title of the book is: ‘The power of rest and retreat in difficult times’. In the foreword she describes winter as:
“the most remarkable season of all. It is a period of withdrawal and retreat, and the place where all the deep work happens.”
In the book she explores wintering not just in terms of the physicality of the weather but as a state of being that we all experience at some time or other when we are faced with one of the many challenges life’s journey brings.
We are sold, from childhood, that life should be one eternal summer of happiness, filled with rays of sunshine. Not only is this unobtainable but sounds pretty exhausting to me.
As well my vitamins, artificial daytime lamp and exercise I am going to try to embrace this season with a new lens. Being mindful of, and embracing, the present need for candle light, early nights and a comfy, cosy jumper.
Now is time for reflection and quiet. It will be spring soon enough.